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Welcome to The Plonkers official web site.
The New Forests very own Original Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra, The Plonkers
Celebrating their 40th Year in show biz.


The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra are an ideal band for County Shows, Local Fetes, Carnivals and Pubs.
Combining the local 'yokel' Hampshur' wit of Golly on banjo, with 'Scrumpy' Country songs and an inventive band of very accomplished mooosicians.

The ORIGINAL Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra started life in 1979, when Golly entered the Lymington carnival with a cider-making machine 'float'. It was a two-wheeled cart, pulled by Plonker, the donkey, with whistles, bells and various gizmos. The cart was followed by Gordon on banjo, Bob on squeeze box, and a trombone and bass drum. They won first prize, playing the chorus of Drink Up Thee Zider (which is all they knew, but as they kept moving the crowd never realised this!) for the whole parade. They did this for a few years until the 'band' numbered 15. Then one year, the Singing Butcher, booked for the Lymington Vintage Fair, couldn't make it, and Golly was asked to stand in - the first booking for The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra. They have been plaguing the New Forest and beyond ever since.
Last revised: March 25, 2018

Pictures from the 2017 Downton Cuckoo Fair, Click here to view.  If you can take it, scroll down the page for more!


The Plonkers next public performances are:


Sat 5th May 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Downton Cuckoo Fair.
The Cuckoo Fair, Downton, Salisbury, WILTS

With a family-friendly festival atmosphere, the fair is held on the village greens in the picturesque village of Downton,
six miles south of Salisbury on the edge of the New Forest on the Wiltshire/Hampshire border.
The Plonkers will be playing live 'on the green'

Website: http://www.cuckoofair.co.uk


Saturday 19th and Sunday 20th May 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Tatton Park, Knutsford, Cheshire, WA16 6QN

The Tatton Park Country Show
Tatton Park, Knutsford, Cheshire, WA16 6QN

The Plonkers are playing live on both days, Open: 10.00am - 5pm

Returning for the 5th year, this family Country Fair will have something for everyone. All day entertainment will include the new Cavalry of Heroes Jousting Team, Jez Avery’s Stunt Bikes & Buggies, birds of prey flying displays, terrier racing, children’s entertainer Banana Brain, the Tallest Magic Show in the World, the goat show including bottle feeding lambs and kids, PADS Dog Training including have-a-go Agility and Scurry, children’s petting pens, historical re-enactment and much much more. Plus demonstrations of rural skills for you to enjoy. And of course, The Plonkers are playing on both days.
Arts, crafts food drink and gifts marquees as well as outside trade stands. Fully catered & with a licensed bar

Also on Sunday at this event the Companion Dog Show - bring along a canine friend and have a go! (And all proceeds from entries will go to Marie Curie Cancer Care).
Admission: £9.50, concessions £8, Children age 5-16 £4, Family Ticket: £25 (2 adults and 2 children)
Children under 5 - absolutely FREE - Usual Tatton Park Car Parking Charges Apply

Sat 9th & Sun 10th June 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Cambridge Town & Country Show

Cambridge Town & Country Show
Parker's Piece, Gonville Place, Cambridge, CB1 1JF
Saturday and Sunday, Open: 10.00am - 6pm - The Plonkers are playing live on both days
Now in its 12th year this much loved and popular family event takes place in the heart of Cambridge. All day entertainment will include brand new Savage Bike Skills Display Team, the ‘FANYS’ Historical Re-enactment Horse Display Team, birds of prey flying displays, terrier racing, children’s entertainer Devistick Peat plus Circus Skills Workshop, the goat show including bottle feeding lambs and kids, children’s petting pens, historical re-enactment and much much more. Plus demonstrations of rural skills for you to enjoy.
Arts, crafts food drink and gifts marquees as well as outside trade stands. Fully catered & with a licensed bar

Parker’s Piece is once again the setting for arguably what is Cambridge’s largest free to enter family event attracting crowds of over 40,000 – the 11th Cambridge Town & Country Show. On Sunday this year they also have the Companion Dog Show – so bring along a canine friend and have a go! (And all proceeds from entries will go to Marie Curie Cancer Care). 

Saturday 16 & Sunday 17 June 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Berkshire Craft & Country Fair,
Beale Park Showground, Nr Reading, Berkshire, RG8 9NW.

This is The Plonkers second appearance at this terrific venue.
All day entertainment will include Equestrienne Stunt Horse Display Team, birds of prey & owl displays, terrier racing, children’s entertainer Mario Magic, the Dog & Duck Show, the goat show including bottle feeding lambs and kids, children’s petting pens, historical re-enactment and much much more. Plus demonstrations of rural skills for you to enjoy.
Arts, crafts food drink and gifts marquees as well as outside trade stands.
Fully catered & with a licensed bar. Free parking.

Tickets available on the gate: Adults: £7.50, Concessions: £6.50, Young person £4 (5-18) Family: £20 (2 adults, 2 young people)


Sat 14th & Sun 15th July 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Historic Transport Club -Devon Coastal Safety Run

The Historic Transport Club - Devon Coastal Safety Run
Mill Marsh Park, off St John's Lane
Bovey Tracey, Devon TQ13 9AL
The Plonkers are going to Plonkerise Devon yet again!

The 40th Devon Coastal Safety Run is on Sunday 15th July 2018.
The Historic Transport Club - Devon Coastal Safety Run covers 70 miles of glorious Devon coastal and country scenery.
The run starts at Exeter and is finishing in the town of Bovey Tracey with an intermediate stop at Goodrington Sands.
More details at: www.historic-transport-club.co.uk/


Saturday 21 & Sunday 22 July 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Staffordshire Country Steam & Crafts Fair.
Uttoxeter Racecourse, Uttoxeter, Staffordshire, ST14 8BD
The Plonkers are playing live on both days.
This is The Plonkers first visit to The Staffordshire Country Crafts & Steam Fair at pretty Uttoxeter Racecourse. This family event will include arena entertainment from Jez Avery’s Stunt Bikes and Buggies, birds of prey flying displays, terrier racing, children’s entertainer Mario Magic, the goat show including bottle feeding lambs and kids, children’s petting pens, PADS dog training and agility with have a go scurry, to Steam Engines, the Nuneaton Dog Display Team, historical re-enactment with Yellow Ribbon and much much more. Plus demonstrations of rural skills for you to enjoy.
Arts, crafts food drink and gifts marquees as well as outside trade stands.
Fully catered & with a licensed bar, and The Plonkers
Tickets available on the gate: Adults: £7.50, Concessions: £6.50, Child/young person £4 (5-18) Family: £20 (2 adults, 2 young people 5-18), 10am – 5pm, Free Parking

Saturday 28th and Sunday 29th July 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Rockingham Castle Game & Country Show

Rockingham Castle Game & Country Show
Rockingham Castle, Rockingham, Market Harborough, Leicestershire, LE16 8TH
The Plonkers are playing live on both days
Returning for the 10th year, and on a new Summer date, this family Country Fair will have something for everyone. Set in the beautiful grounds of Rockingham Castle this Family Country and Game Show with all day entertainment.
Including The Sheep Show, the Dog & Duck Show, birds of prey flying displays, the ‘FANY’s’ Historical Re-enactment Horseback Display Team, PADS dog training including have-a-go Agility & Scurry, terrier racing, children’s entertainer Devilstick Peat plus Circus Workshop, the goat show including bottle feeding lambs and kids, Nuneaton Dog Display Team, children’s petting pens, historical re-enactment and much much more. Plus demonstrations of rural skills for you to enjoy.
Arts, crafts food drink and gifts marquees as well as outside trade stands. Fully catered & with a licensed bar, and The Plonkers
Admission on the gate: £9.50, concessions £8, Children age 5-16 £4, Family Ticket: £25 (2 adults and 2 children) - Free Parking

Sat 4th & Sun 5th Aug 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Torbay Steam Fair.

Stand by Torbay, The Plonkers are going to Plonkerise Devon yet again!
Playing live Saturday and Sunday
http://www.torbaysteamfair.com/

More details on the exact gig times as we get them.


Saturday 11th and Sunday 12th August, 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Knebworth Steam Crafts & Country Life Fair,  Knebworth House, Knebworth, SG1 2AX
The Plonkers are playing live on both days.
Set in the beautiful grounds of Knebworth House this Family Country Show now in its 8th year with all day entertainment including steam engines – both full size and scale, Jez Avery’s Stunt Bikes and Buggies, the ‘FANY’s’ Historical Re-enactment on Horseback Display Team,  and much much more. Plus demonstrations of rural skills for you to enjoy. Arts, crafts food drink and gifts marquees as well as outside trade stands. Of course you also have access to the Dinosaur Trail, the Children’s Play Area and Fort and Knebworth’s own beautiful grounds as part of your entry ticket. Fully catered & with a licensed bar, and, The Plonkers
Admission on the gate: £9.50, Family ticket (for 4 persons) £34
Tickets include entrance to Gardens, Park, Dinosaur Trail and Adventure Playground. - Free Parking

Bank holiday, 26th, 27th and 28th August 2018, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Great Trethew Vintage Rally, Great Trethew, Horningtops, Liskeard, Cornwall PL14 3PZ
The Plonkers are playing live at the Great Trethew rally on all three days.
You can find this event midway between Liskeard and Looe.

What's on at the Rally>
Commercial, Steam and Military Vehicles, Vintage Tractors, Cars and Motorbikes, Steam Engines, Horticultural equipment and Stationary Engines
A Fun Dog Show, Craft and Country Demonstrations, Music, many Live Bands including The Plonkers, Children's Entertainment

The Great Trethew Vintage Rally takes place on 26th, 27th and 28th August at Great Trethew, Horningtops, Liskeard, Cornwall PL14 3PZ. Doors open at 8am, show commences at 10am until 6pm.
Website: http://www.trethewrally.uk


The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra Photo Stream is now live, just click on the image to open (please note, this opens in a new window)

The Plonkers playing at The Downton Cuckoo Fair.

The Plonkers at Brockenhurst Station to mark The Queen’s 90th Birthday.

'Plonkers' dodging leather cricket balls at Pylewell Cricket Club

Click here for The Plonkers 2018 Gig List

  Latest News: 
The Plonkers® now have their latest CD 'In the can' Featuring Golly, Janette, and Rustic Ray,
'RUSTIC RUMPUS' has 15 new songs and is available now online and at gigs.
Available now, online and at all gigs


What's new:
The Plonkers online shop is now live. You can now purchase 3 of The Plonkers CD's. Proper Music, Second Eruption and Rustic Rumpus
This is the first time 'Proper Music' has been available on CD via the internet!
So, we now have 2 new CD's, 'Janet Beale On Accordion' and 'Rustic Rumpus'
Rustic Rumpus
is the very latest 2012 recording from Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra (15 new songs)
All CD's are priced at £9.99 and P&P is just £1 per order, so why not order more, it's still only £1
  Postage and packing is just £1 per order
We normally post our CD's within 24 hours of receiving your order, but please allow up to 10 days for delivery.
Guaranteed to keep your mother-in-law and any other unwelcome relatives away
Remember these CD's always sound better with alcohol

 

How to book The Plonkers..

If you would like to book The Plonkers, please email:
g...@theplonkers.com


See The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra live
For full details of up and coming bookings

Click here for the full updated Gig list
Many of The Plonkers gigs are only arranged with as little as a weeks notice so please check here for the regular updates.


This page was last revised on: March 25, 2018


The Plonker's™ band line up

The main band members of The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra™ can be viewed here:

Get in touch

Email: g...@theplonkers.com


Last revised: March 25, 2018, 'Ampshire time

What is 'Ampshire time you ask?
according to Golly, 'Ampshire time is:
You eat when your hungry,
you go to bed when your tired,
and you get the job done when its finished.

The next update will be...................'Ampshire time
The clock on the right is set to 'Ampshire time


           'Ampshire time


For more details:
Email:
g...@theplonkers.com
Copyright © 2018 (The Plonkers® Agricultural Orchestra). All rights reserved
*TM Trade mark No. 2393125 registered at the UK Patent Office press release


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